I'm Feeling Some Type of Way

Have you ever felt like you're just average? You can do things, a lot of things; but you don't really excel at something. You can accomplish things but they are always average at best. You're not last, but you're never first either. While you are always part of things, you're never a priority. And sometimes, I feel like things will be just fine with or without me.

You're the jack of all trades, but a master of none. You're everyone's friend, but no one's favorite person. You exist, albeit insignificantly. 

If you're expecting this to be a pep talk and I will eventually say positive things, you're in the wrong blog honey. Things are about to get even darker, sadder. Let's get started.

What Started All This Dramarama

I was (still is, I guess) planning on creating Youtube channel/vlog. My friends and cousins have been egging me to do so. While I have been toying with the idea for a very long time, it never really came to fruition. But since Youtube and vlogging is becoming THE thing, I was finally convinced to go and try it. Not to mention it pays really, really well and God knows I need the extra money. I was also thinking that it will be good for my mental and emotional state. Considering all the things mentioned above, I was ready to take my brand of desolate, despondent, and capricious humor to the big screen.

The first thing I did was research. While I am familiar with how things on Youtube work, my knowledge is average (triggered) at best. So while watching videos on how to start a vlog, I came across a question THAT STARTED THISSSSssss1!!11!

What is your niche?

It's the same question I hated being asked when I started this blog and I started to network joined blogging communities (CBC WHERE YOU AT FAM!!!). Don'get met wrong, I understand the importance of finding your niche. I know how helpful it is to just really stick to something you know well. While I understand the benefits of it, I REFUSE TO BE PUT IN A BOX! I was in the middle of my coming out process and I was just really sensitive to things that restricts my freedom. Like, I just came out of the closet and now I have to be in a box, no wonder I am claustrophobic!

<heavy breathing>

Yeah, so I felt some type of way when I encountered that question in one the videos I watched. After feeling all the feelings, it got me thinking: what am I good at? And when I say I was triggered, bitch WAS REALLY TRIGGERED THE HOUSE DOWN BOOTS!

I started reflecting on the things I do best, my talents (if any), skills (if any), interesting hobbies (if any), or just anything that sets me apart from others (if any). And after a serious contemplation over bottles and bottles of Emperador Light, I realized, that I am an average person. And not the Marvel kind.

Which brings us to part two of this Pulitzer-worthy article on the absurdities of the human mind. This is chapter is called TRIGGERED.

I was at my 100% when I convinced myself that I should really start a Youtube vlog. But after being triggered I went down to about 60%. Still a sizable amount, I thought. So I created a new email specifically for my vlogging, filmed my first video, tried editing, gave up, got drunk, and went on a Youtube binge. Partially because I was drunk, partially because I am still thinking of what I should do in my vlog. 

After 40 or so videos, my 60% went down to 20%. 

Seriously though, its not a good feeling. I know I am not the most talented person in the world, nor the most interesting. I have always thought that my personality and humor is my strongest asset. It turns out, I am as ordinary and average as the next person. If anything, I'm glad I didn't join X Factor. Just looking at the mirror is enough for me to know and understand that I don't have it. And it makes me really, really sad.

What puts the icing in the cake is the feeling that I'm not anyone's favorite person. Like for once in my life, I want someone to be someone's priority. I know that I have found comfort in being alone, and I'm beginning to be okay with the idea that I really might be alone forevs. But yeah, I'd want to feel wanted once in a while. 

Which brings us to part three of this already-becoming-boring blog post. This chapter is called: WHAT NOW?

I don't know. Maybe i'll just cancel my plans of doing a vlog like every other plans I had to express my passion and art (did somebody mention aRt!?). Maybe i'll wake up tomorrow feeling a bit better and start filming. I really don't know.

What I know is that I'm average, I'm not special, I'm not interesting, and I'm not a priority. So I will just keep on capitalizing my I's so that somehow, I will feel good about myself. 

If anyone is feeling the same, tagay ta!?


I told you its not a pep talk. 


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Eerie: E for Effort

I am a fan of horror movies. Who isn't really? And the Philippine cinema has had its fair share of scream-worthy horror thrillers such as Sukob, Aswang (the Maricel Soriano one), and Feng Shui (the first one). I know that was just three movies and that's because I was lying when I said we've had our fair share of scream-worthy horrors. Our cinema's repertoire when it comes to this genre is a horror story on its own.

On this essay, I will tell you all the reasons why Eerie, a Star Cinema horror movie starring Bea Alonzo and Charo Santos, is such a poor attempt at revitalizing this well-loved movie genre. 

Let me start by summarizing what Eerie is all about:

The movie tells the story of Miss Pat (Bea Alonzo). A guidance counselor tasked to help the troubled students of Sta Lucia. Like any other school, Sta. Lucia is haunted by the ghost of the past which is causing quite a stir. Also adding to the already gloomy air of the school is Sor Alice (Charo Santos), the school's mother superior. When a student was found dead one morning, Miss Pat goes beyond her job description to uncover the truth. Even if it means that she must butt heads with forces such a Sor. Alice

Now let's talk about what Eerie is not:

1. Eerie is poorly acted. 

One would expect that acting giants such as Bea Alonzo, Charo Santos, and Jake Cuenca will truly shine in this film. To say that I am disappointed will be a colossal understatement. Bea Alonzo has garnered a reputation (and rightfully so) when it comes to acting. But here subdued, one-dimensional portrayal of an earnest guidance counselor is but a shadow of the plethora of other movie characters she had successfully portrayed. 

I was never a fan of Jake Cuenca. There is something about his demeanor that puts me off. Maybe because I feel like he takes himself way too seriously, or it's just me. Despite my personal opinion about him, I think Jake Cuenca is a good actor. And I think that his acting acumen was underused in this movie. The last few minutes of his character in the movie could have been a spectacle of his acting prowess. But I guess the director had other things in mind (like his weak attempt of a resolution)

Charo Santos is a legend, but in all honesty though, aside from her weekly letter reading at MMK and her Lav Diaz collaboration, I am not familiar with her work. One would expect that a domineering character such as Sor Alice will be played accurately by a powerful woman such as Charo Santos. Who, in her interviews for the movie, showed exceptional command. But every time she delivers her line, I find myself waiting for the screen to fade in and fade out, giving way to the week's letter sender.

Other characters were also underutilized and unnecessary.

2. Eerie is tiring.

Halfway through, I already felt the exhaustion of paying attention. Granted that my attention span is really short, I offered my full attention and it sucks that the movie did nothing to keep it. What makes it even sadder is how the story will just take a sudden, unexplained left turn to nowhere without establishing the previous route. But the saddest fact of them all is how the movie ended. The directors attempt to resolve the conflict was poorly done. His effort for a cliffhanger was poorly done. The ending made no sense.

3. Eerie missed a lot of opportunities.

I don't think horror movies should be limited to just the paranormal, metaphysical, and monsters. After all, the real monsters in this world are humans. And I almost thought that the director and I shared the same sentiments.  It would have been okay (to me, at least) if Sor Alice turned out to be the antagonist. Her iron fist rule on the school is believable and realistic. The movie could have advocated against corporal punishment (at school at least) along the way. It could have worked out that way. But no, the movie just had to include ghosts and make them liable for everything. Because horror movies work that way.

Eerie also had the opportunity to explore and expound self-harm and suicide. It could have been given a better context and a more thoughtful explanation that is both sensitive and educational. But its just part of the story and the characters back story so she could empathize with one of the characters. And that was it.

Eerie also had the opportunity to tackle school governance, fervent worshipping, and building maintenance. But no, it had to be about ghosts because it was a horror movie and horror movies do not deserve to have substance.

Eerie gets a boot from Raven
Last but not the last, Eerie should have been retitled to CR, because that is where most of the scenes were. We just had to go back to the CR every other frame because it's a horror movie. And horror movies love comfort rooms. 

I just had to come out of blogging retirement to write about this. I also had the reactivate my Facebook to let the world know about how I felt about this movie. I'm important like that.

If you have P200+ to spare and 1 hour and 41 minutes to waste, then watch this movie. If you'd rather watch the newest episode of RuPaul's Drag Race that Netflix uploads way too late that I already accidentally saw what happened, we should be friends. 

That's all.

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Cook Me: Sinigang na Hokkaido

What's a Hokkaido?

I bet that is the first question that popped into your heads after reading the title of my new blog post. Right? Like how did this awesome blogger achieved a feat such as cooking an island in Japan? What kind of mundane sorcery is this? 

Well, young people of the internet, the Hokkaido I am talking (and cooking) about today is actually a canned mackerel from my childhood. There was a time when Mega Sardines, San Marino Tuna, Highlands Corned Beef, were nothing but an idea in some businessman's brain. Growing up, our shelves (and the nearest sari-sari stores) were filled with Ligo Sardines, Argentina Corned Beef, Maling, and of course, Hokkaido Mackerel. While some of what I mentioned above still exist, it seems like the canned mackerel I grew up eating vanished, forgotten.

Hey stranger!
While grocery shopping a few days ago, I came across San Marinos own canned mackerel. Reading the label was nostalgic and brought memories of my childhood I have already forgotten. I immediately grabbed two cans and continued shopping with a smile on my face.

Today, I will be sharing a recipe perfect for that canned mackerel. And what better way to cook it than to turn a seemingly ordinary canned food into a delicious Filipino classic: Sinigang (which you all know I love)

Aside from being nostalgic, this recipe with the canned mackerel is perfect for those on a tight budget but still wants a delicious ulam. Perfect for that week before payday.

Here is what we need:
  • Canned Mackerel - any brand will do. I tried looking for the Hokkaido brand but I can't find any.
  • Your choice of Sinigang veggies. I went with ginger, gabi, tomatoes, okra, alugbati as that is what's available at the nearby sari-sari store. I would have added radish and string beans. 
  • Sinigang Mix, salt, and pepper to taste.
Here is what you need to do:
  • Saute the ginger. Add the onion and cook until translucent. Add the tomatoes and wait for it to cook.
  • Add the gabi as is takes time to cook. Add a cup of water and the sauce of the canned mackerel. Do not include the fish meat yet as it will turn into ground meat after you're done.
  • Once the gabi is cooked, add the okra and your sinigang mix. Lower your fire to not overcook the okra.
  • Taste and adjust according to your liking. Add the alugbati(or kangkong), and the mackerel. Turn off your stove. Let the heat from the pot cook the leaf. The mackerel is already cooked so you don't have to worry about it.
  • And you're done! Good job!
Celebrate with a plate of rice, some patis (or ketchup if you're into that) and eat your problems away. Who says you can't enjoy good food without overspending? Douse them with that hot Sinigang ! And who says cooking is complicated? Throw the pot you used to cook the Sinigang at them!

Nostalgic, easy, and budget-friendly. That's about it guys. As always, thank you for visiting my blog. Drop your comments below and let me know how your dish turned out! 


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