3.5.20

This Isn't The Supposed To Be Title But Here We Are

Hi guys! Welcome to another episode of my life as a failed human being. In this episode, unironically (I'm not sure if I'm using this one right, but whatevs) we will be talking about my inability to write. Yes, I am going to discuss how I cant write by writing it down in this blog where I'm supposed to write things. I know that it sounds paradoxical and that's because it is just a big paradox like all the things in my life right now. So get your drinks ( I HAVE WINE FUCK YESSSS), sit back, relax and let's paradox this shit.


So, let's start with the obvious; I can still write. I know, florals for spring groundbreaking but yeah, by definition, I can still write. What I meant with 'inability to write' is writing something good. And that is under the assumption that prior to this, I have been writing good content. And since I own this blog and I just renewed my domain for another year, I refuse to believe otherwise. But seriously, I don't have both the will and the power to write anything these days (if I'm being honest, for the longest time). All of what I have written in the past were forced out of me by myself (lol).

And if you're thinking that this is going to turn into something positive, wrong blog. It's about to turn even darker,

It's not only writing that I am losing interest in. All the things that I used to love seem foreign now. I used to love reading, watching movies, watching TV series, poetry, and just anything creative. Its all but a distant memory.

It's been ages since I last bought a book and actually finished it. I don't even know where that fucking book is. I used to watch movies as much as I can but now, I can't even sit through its first 20 minutes. And I am starting to think that my Netflix subscription is such a waste (if not for my brother and my friends sharing it with me) since the only thing I watch in it is RuPaul's Drag Race. Granted, there might a come a series that will entice me every now and then, but it's very rare and mostly ends up being a waste of time (LOCKE AND KEY).

So where is this going? I am also not sure. I don't know how to light that fire again. God knows I'm trying (hello I'm writing this down), but I just, I cant. I don't have the ability to can. And now, I don't even know where this is going. And if I don't figure it out, this will end up in draft like most of my efforts.

THIS IS ME RN
Recently, I tried to get into watching TV series again with Thai BLs. If you don't know what BL is, it stands for boy love and it's self-explanatory why it called that. (? what is this sentence even? ). So yeah, I finished TharnType, and it's probably the most far-removed from reality, stupid, confusing, and unnecessarily dramatic series I have watched. And that includes anime. I am still recovering from it actually so I still lack the ability to can.

Okay, I am just rambling because I don't even give a shit. I don't know. This is what I mean when I say I can't write. Is my attention span the problem? Is it because I live such a boring life? Am I going crazy? Is this real life? Or is this fantasy?

Maybe I should end this? Like before I write anything that would tarnish my already tarnished bad reputation of running a blog. I just want to show all 3 of you that I am trying. I am also forcing myself because like I said I just renewed my domain and it's not cheap but I feel like I'm wasting money and its something I don't want to do given the current sitch. Good thing I CAN NOW DRINK!!!!


Anyways, thank you for listening and that is my TED talk.


Bye,



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