Shaking Off Anacondas

Its Sunday and I am allowed to just laze around the floor and no one will bat an eye. 

Did You Know?

------ That in the old time, very old like Biblical old, during Sabbath, one is not allowed to do anything that is considered work. Their definition of work, as crazy as it sounds is lifting two pieces of dried leaves. And if I remembered it correctly the punishment was death. My professor in college (God bless his soul) shared this our Re-Ed class, so I am not making it up as an excuse of not wanting to move a muscle.

Whatever happened to music?

I have a varied taste in music, from Enya to Avenged Sevenfold. Then, there's Nicki Minaj and her Anaconda. For starters, I am not a fan of hers, I don't hate her either. Super Bass and Fly was good, and their videos was fun, then there's Nicki Minaj and her Anaconda. I hate it. I am somewhat disgusted by the amount of flesh shown in that video. 

Looks like a prologue of something..... 
Don't get me wrong I love butts, I appreciate a good hump, then there's Nicki Minaj and her Anaconda. It was just wrong in so many level, I mean, is it still allowed for butts to be that big? Yeah, I guess I could play with it for an hour maximum but ugh, it was just too much of everything. Sorry Nicki Minaj and her fans. I just can't...

On the other hand, there's Taylor Swift and Shake It Off. It's fun and funny without over exposing. I was just smiling and laughing through out the video watching Taylor try to dance and well shake it off. Seeing it after Nicki Minaj's butt fest was a breath of fresh air, it felt like Sunday morning again.

Taylor dancing. A for Effort. 
I am not sure if I am loving Maroon 5's new album. Overexposed was okay, but V, their newest album is far from the Maroon 5 I knew way back Sunday Morning.They used to be one of my Sunday afternoon band, but now I'm not so sure. What is happening?

I am jumping from one topic to another. I should really take our training more seriously, that clear and concise thing is quite useful now. Anyway yes, I am currently in training and so far it's been good. I am hoping that my career will finally get the start that it effin needs.

Anyway, have a good lazy Sunday folks. How will you be spending yours? Smile!


An Open Letter II

I'm letting you go, not because I don't love you, but because I love myself.

Ever since meeting you, I have never thought of my own happiness. All I wanted was yours, even at my own expense. I don't know if it counts as love, I really don't care. I have put you first in all of the things I do, because seeing you smile makes it all worth it.

Ever since meeting you, I have never been happy and sad at the same time. I have never been fine and in pain at the same. I have never been this selfless, I have never been this stupid. But I never regret all the things I have done for you, for I think it is you, who should be in regret for losing someone like me. I could love someone else and hopefully and finally, they will love me back but no one, nobody will ever love you the way I do. I am fine now, I will be okay. I will move on and get over you.

But who am I kidding?

There was never a night that I don't miss you. There was never a morning that I wish I will wake up with you beside me, just like before. There was never a boring day that I wish for nothing else but your presence.I keep on telling myself to move on, that you are not even thinking of me. My senses go wild whenever  my phone tells me I have a message, wishing for yours.

I miss so bad, there are days I don't even know what I am feeling. I literally feel nothing. I will just stare into nothingness wishing I feel something, even pain but I don't.

But I am putting it all behind me now, for I deserve peace, and I deserve more than you could ever give.

What did you do to me that I can't fool myself into thinking I don't want you and I don't love you anymore? I don't know when and how will I get over, or if its even possible but I am hoping for the best.

I am letting you go, for you already have made your choice. I am letting you go because you don't need me anymore. I am letting you go because you don't deserve someone like me and I don't deserve someone like you. I am letting you go because I see no point in fighting a war that was never mine to begin with, I am letting you go because it is time that I love myself.

I am not mad and anger is at the bottom of the list of how I feel for you. I genuinely want nothing for you but happiness. We were just two lost soul who found each other. I gave in and you didn't and that is okay.

Thank you for everything and let me tell this and shout it all in the universe for one last time;. I love you,


In The Lonely Hour

No, its not about me. The title refers to an album of my current obsession.

Ladies and gents, let us welcome another addition to my English addiction: Sam F. Smith. Okay, his middle name is not F, its just that he is fucking amazing, that it should be his middle name, at least for me.

In fact last night, after seeing his live performance in SNL, I just couldn't contain my excitement and amazement so I shared the video, but oh my mind works in a strange way and this happened.

Anyway, I first heard of Sam F. Smith from 'Latch' by Disclosure where he was featured. If you have't heard the said song yet you are missing a lot. It was followed by 'Money On My Mind' which was now taken from his debut album.After hearing MOMM, I thought that he was just another pop star wanna be, I didn't even know he was Brit, not that it would matter though (okay a little, maybe). Then I heard Stay With Me, not his version though but a cover by my dearest Ed Sheeran. It was a damn good song so I googled who sang it originally and now I'm obsessed. Lay Me Down, one of his song is actually playing as I write this, actually, for honesty's sake its been playing since yesterday. It has become my favorite track in the album, even more when I saw the live version via Saturday Night Love. Oh boy! Oh man! It was ugh!

Sam F. Smith is also gay and he said that his songs were about unrequited love, written for those guys who didn't love him back. He had me at unrequited love. You can really feel the longing in his songs especially with Stay With Me and Lay Me Down. So if you folks are looking for new songs to be your drunken night soundtrack go and check Sam Smith's In The Lonely Hour. If in case his songs didn't get you, call your cardiologist because your heart is probably made of stone.


What Happens When You Cross Seas

About three weeks ago, I decided to go back to Bantayan. I was feeling adventurous and I had always wanted to do something impulsive and somewhat stupid, so with barely enough money, I took the tiresome journey.

The weather however was against me, as I became stranded in the port of Hagnaya for 16 hours. My money was just enough to get me to my destination and my phone’s battery, my only source of enjoyment at that time was barely enough. When the coastguard finally allowed sea travel, I was more than happy. But lo and behold, the waves I have once feared greeted me good morning as it lulls the ferry into chaos. I prayed hard, asked for forgiveness and transferred seat, the one closest to the window and life jacket just in case. After more than an hour, I wasn’t able to count really as I was so focused in praying and finding 100 ways of escaping in case something happened, I was able to reach the island’s port safely and oh! I have never been happier stepping on solid ground. Seeing the faces of those who welcomed me took all the hardships away.

Adventure I want, adventure I had found.

After more or less three months of living in Cebu City, my home’s lush greens  and fresh air was a welcomed change. Once again I felt home. My relatives were more than happy to see me, and I am too, happy to see them.

I don’t think I should put in detail about my stay there as that that would require me to write a book. Suffice to say, I enjoyed. But more than the enjoyment, it’s the epiphany that struck me the most.

As I am typing this blog, I am back in the city, alone in my room with a cup of coffee and a pack of cigarettes. As I look back in the three week vacation I realized that more than the superficial things, what I desire the most now is family and being around people who loves me.

During my teenage years, I would always envision myself travelling and experiencing all the good things life can offer. I had been a billionaire many times, owned houses and properties across Europe. I have swam the seas of Bahamas and played with the waves of Hawaii. I have dined in the most expensive French restaurant, drove over expensive cars around Dubai and drank coffee in New York. I had been many things in my mind and it made me want to leave more than ever.

But now, I am different.

I’m fine if I don’t get to eat more than three times a day. I was fine with 3-in-1 coffee and tasteless bread. I don’t mind if the menu is eat it or starve. I don’t mind not having money in my pocket. I don’t mind poverty as long as I am with family. I have never wanted to stay before, but now, I don’t want to leave. In fact, I am trying hard not to pack my bags again, and trying my hardest to no to remember the family I have there or I will cry my heart out. 



A woman. A friend. A mother (Staccato para matuwa ka!)

These are just three of the many words and adjectives that best describe you, if it isn’t your birthday, I would have included LOUD as it captures your inner truest essence. Kidding aside though, in all honestly and seriousness, which you know I don’t have much of the latter; you are one of the most amazing woman I have ever met. *insert True Colors here*

Life would have broken you down, torn you in to pieces. Life would have triumphed over you my dear friend, but no. You fought, you fought so fucking hard. You used whatever you have been through to your advantage and you succeeded. I know I was always the leader, and I always claimed to be the smart one, but deep in my heart I know that I really am that you have more capacity to be the leader and you don’t have to claim it because you already are the smart one.  I have always looked up to you, I would always ask myself: How does she do it? Because with everything that’s going around you, you can still do things and finish them with flying colors, with rainbows and shit. You know what, out of all my friends who graduated, I was most proud of you. You are a living testament that life only defeats you when you let it. I was proud because you proved them all wrong, something I have yet to achieve.

I am thankful that I met you. I thank God that you chose us to be your classmates. I thank you for letting me be your friend no matter how eff up I am.

I wish you all the best things in life Nin, you deserve it. Keep doing what you do because you are so good at it: being a friend, a partner and a mother. You are very talented friend, except dancing, just don’t… stahp.

Happy Birthday Nin! I love you and I miss you two! Pa-canton ka naman!

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