Because Of Reasons

Pont De Arts, a bridge in France famous for the "Love Locks" has been taken down. Some parts of the bridge collapsed due to the amount of love locks, enter Jovit Baldivino with 'Too Much Love Will Kill You'. So its official, walang forever

If there's one thing I want to spend forever with, its food. Food will always be there for you, food will never leave you. Food is love. 

I'm getting fat. I've been eating like a hungry caveman these past few days. Me and a friend had been going around town visiting eat-all-you-can restaurants. I really want to take pictures of the food we ate but my phones camera is not working. But so far, the places we've been to are good. Worth the money that was never mine to begin with. 

As of the moment I am fighting the urge to go out and go to the nearest McDonalds have have myself a big fucking burger and chicken nuggets. Ugh. As I get fat, my pocket gets thin, another reason why I should just stay in my room and act depressed. 

Anyway, I am writing randomly because I want to get back into writing and I heard, or read, or thought that writing a little, no matter how senseless and random it is, helps. Anyway, I will leave you guys with the cutest, most adoring GIF I've seen in the net. I am in love with this. I still love food, but ugh.


I Can Be Very Mouthy

You annoy me. You annoy the hell out of me. You annoy the hell out of my every atom. Your mere presence is enough to make my blood boil like a deep fryer. You make me want to be Mt. Vesuvius and pour hot lava on your big airy head! I want to write tons of offensive things about you right now but I'm afraid I will run out of offensive adjectives. 

Let me post a philosophical question: If you didn't exist, will you still be annoying? I know my question has no point, but so is your existence! So I'm gonna call it quits. I'm running out of things to say because I'm enveloped in so much hatred my vocabulary is not functioning well. I blame you, your immature views and your selfish philosophies.

You always have an excuse. You always have an excuse for all your short comings. Its not the weather you fucker, its you! You have a problem with responsibility and it's a big one! Can you please, for just one effin time, own up your mistakes and stop blaming the world. You always have a reason for all your mistakes that you forget the effin fact fact that it was you who made them out of the choices life laid for you, so if there is someone to blame it's not the Cthulhu but you!

I hate it when you try to be smart and philosophical and all. "I really don't care about having absences, as long as I live the life I want",  I don't care about failing, I'm just here because I have nothing else to do" Bull-fucking-shit! If that's the case then quit already, right? If you really don't care about anything, just make sure you don't bring everyone else down with your short comings, but as of late, you are so the warning is a little too late.

Okay now I'm fine. I just need to let some steam off guys. It's been a rough week because of a certain someone at work, well there are lots of 'em but this particular one is getting on my nerves. Sometimes I wish I am as blunt personally as I am in print, but I just can't. He should be thankful that I am not because I don't know that might happen if the inner war freak in me came out. Other than that, I have nothing else to say. 

If you wanna ask, which I know you wouldn't since there's just like three people visiting my blog and less than half of them is reading it, I used screenshots from some of my favorite movies which are: The Breakfast Club, V for Vendetta, Pulp Fiction (not really a favorite) and Coffee and Cigarettes. It's irrelevant I know but you should watch it because I said so. And it's probably good. Or not. Whatever.


Current Status

I don't know whats been happening lately, it's been a roller coaster. I would like to believe that I am doing awesome in terms of career, my social life is doing okay and life at home is a nightmare. My love life is as stagnant as ever. I have few new crushes, which by definition are the people I can never be with. They don't even know I exist. But I never learn, do I? 

It's been bothering me though. Like I would have this crush but I know I could never be with them, but I would imagine my life with them either way and within two hours we would be married and after a day we are walking along the white sands of a beach somewhere romantic. And by the time I need to sleep I would be totally depressed that I can't sleep. The next day I will regret everything, but I will see my crush again, and I would go back to daydreaming but with a different plot with a different setting, and by the time the moon smiles at me, I would be more depressed that I was that I would curse at the moon and would try my best to punch it. 

The next day, I would be totally aloof and anti-social. I will hate everything and everyone the moment I step out of my room. I will hate the water for being too cold. I will hate my pants for reminding me that I am gaining weight. I will hate the jeepney driver for driving the way he is supposed to. I will hate the commuters for acting the way commuters act. I will hate my colleagues for asking too many questions like we are in a quiz bee. I will hate my crush for existing. I will hate myself for hating everyone. Then after my first cup of brewed and bitter coffee from McDo I am back to my usual funny self. I will be brutally sarcastic but funny. I will give that menacing look that means I am thinking of few hundred ways to kill you while smiling. I will blurt out puns which a quarter of the population would not understand. I will eat like a dinosaur and probably eat more that the dinosaur would fail in comparison. But before the day ends, I will sulk again that my face looks like I just lost a billion dollars in a non-existing bet. And by the time I hit the bed, I am thinking of killing myself. Ain't that grand!

But then I will think of my Mom, all the food that I still need to try, all the places I need to visit, all the people I need to kill and all my crushes that I need to be in bed with and Voila! I am fine. The effin cycle is so tiring, fun, but tiring. As of the moment I am ignoring crush but damn! It's fucking hard. Instead, I am devouring all the good brownies in my job's pantry. Hence my clothes are close to not fitting me anymore. I know I am rambling but ask me first if I care about your feelings. I am using pictures from The Fault in Our Stars, which probably means that I am in my worst state. Or I am over acting. 

Anyway, thank you for painfully reading. I know by now you might be a little elusive and will try to run and hide when I am within 100 meters of your personal space, but please ask me first if you're existence is essential to my happiness. I think I will be like this until....


Shaking Off Anacondas

Its Sunday and I am allowed to just laze around the floor and no one will bat an eye. 

Did You Know?

------ That in the old time, very old like Biblical old, during Sabbath, one is not allowed to do anything that is considered work. Their definition of work, as crazy as it sounds is lifting two pieces of dried leaves. And if I remembered it correctly the punishment was death. My professor in college (God bless his soul) shared this our Re-Ed class, so I am not making it up as an excuse of not wanting to move a muscle.

Whatever happened to music?

I have a varied taste in music, from Enya to Avenged Sevenfold. Then, there's Nicki Minaj and her Anaconda. For starters, I am not a fan of hers, I don't hate her either. Super Bass and Fly was good, and their videos was fun, then there's Nicki Minaj and her Anaconda. I hate it. I am somewhat disgusted by the amount of flesh shown in that video. 

Looks like a prologue of something..... 
Don't get me wrong I love butts, I appreciate a good hump, then there's Nicki Minaj and her Anaconda. It was just wrong in so many level, I mean, is it still allowed for butts to be that big? Yeah, I guess I could play with it for an hour maximum but ugh, it was just too much of everything. Sorry Nicki Minaj and her fans. I just can't...

On the other hand, there's Taylor Swift and Shake It Off. It's fun and funny without over exposing. I was just smiling and laughing through out the video watching Taylor try to dance and well shake it off. Seeing it after Nicki Minaj's butt fest was a breath of fresh air, it felt like Sunday morning again.

Taylor dancing. A for Effort. 
I am not sure if I am loving Maroon 5's new album. Overexposed was okay, but V, their newest album is far from the Maroon 5 I knew way back Sunday Morning.They used to be one of my Sunday afternoon band, but now I'm not so sure. What is happening?

I am jumping from one topic to another. I should really take our training more seriously, that clear and concise thing is quite useful now. Anyway yes, I am currently in training and so far it's been good. I am hoping that my career will finally get the start that it effin needs.

Anyway, have a good lazy Sunday folks. How will you be spending yours? Smile!


An Open Letter II

I'm letting you go, not because I don't love you, but because I love myself.

Ever since meeting you, I have never thought of my own happiness. All I wanted was yours, even at my own expense. I don't know if it counts as love, I really don't care. I have put you first in all of the things I do, because seeing you smile makes it all worth it.

Ever since meeting you, I have never been happy and sad at the same time. I have never been fine and in pain at the same. I have never been this selfless, I have never been this stupid. But I never regret all the things I have done for you, for I think it is you, who should be in regret for losing someone like me. I could love someone else and hopefully and finally, they will love me back but no one, nobody will ever love you the way I do. I am fine now, I will be okay. I will move on and get over you.

But who am I kidding?

There was never a night that I don't miss you. There was never a morning that I wish I will wake up with you beside me, just like before. There was never a boring day that I wish for nothing else but your presence.I keep on telling myself to move on, that you are not even thinking of me. My senses go wild whenever  my phone tells me I have a message, wishing for yours.

I miss so bad, there are days I don't even know what I am feeling. I literally feel nothing. I will just stare into nothingness wishing I feel something, even pain but I don't.

But I am putting it all behind me now, for I deserve peace, and I deserve more than you could ever give.

What did you do to me that I can't fool myself into thinking I don't want you and I don't love you anymore? I don't know when and how will I get over, or if its even possible but I am hoping for the best.

I am letting you go, for you already have made your choice. I am letting you go because you don't need me anymore. I am letting you go because you don't deserve someone like me and I don't deserve someone like you. I am letting you go because I see no point in fighting a war that was never mine to begin with, I am letting you go because it is time that I love myself.

I am not mad and anger is at the bottom of the list of how I feel for you. I genuinely want nothing for you but happiness. We were just two lost soul who found each other. I gave in and you didn't and that is okay.

Thank you for everything and let me tell this and shout it all in the universe for one last time;. I love you,
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