My Current State

Hey guys! How's your day so far? Mine is a wee bit boring.

As for my current state, I am gulping down a humongous cup of coffee while typing this blog entry. My room is as always, messy. I am physically fine, mentally unstable and emotionally wrecked. My thoughts often wander to this frigging person which leads to more insane thoughts, which in return would make me feel sad. I am really sorry If all I will ever talk about is my love for quite sometime, but I do think I am entitled to be depressed every so often. Anyway yes, I am still smitten and still hoping that somehow this would end happily. I've been thinking about this, and it actually consumes my entire day. I don't have the appetite to eat, at least I'm glad of this but other than my appetite, it's my mental health I am really concerned about. I can't think of sane thoughts, I can't process any thought for that matter that is not associated with my romantic problem. I was seriously thinking of cutting myself again. Something I am used to doing before when I can't handle my emotions. I was  considering it but I was able to hold it well enough to host the our last big event. I don't want to go around with multiple wounds to think that a lot of people would be there. I've been smoking more often as well, something I do to relieve some stress, although I am thinking of quitting for good. I am not a habitual smoker but still, it's not healthy. I have a lot of things to do actually, I need to clean my room, I need to process my requirements for my last semester, I need papers for my OJT and I can't do a single thing because of my romantic problem.

I guess that is it for now. I need to sort myself, seriously, before the worst. I don't want to crumble again and escape, I need to be stronger than I ever was. Have a good day folks, Smile!

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