Maybe Not Today, But In Another Lifetime

I've been spending sometime, thinking I'll be alright
                                                 I don't know if I could really make it tonight....

I lit another cigarette, my second for the night. The room slowly showed it's emptiness with the help of my cigarette's light. Though it was not as bright as the stars, or the moon. It was bright enough to show me what's missing in my room. You. This night, together with all the other nights I've thought of you, are the nights I'd rather forget. I'd rather spend the whole day basking in the heat of the sun than spend the cold silent night in my small empty room, alone. Funny how a bed for two sleeps only one, funny how a room for one keeps a worlds worth of secret, funny how my heart beats not only for me, but for you as well. Funny how I thought I could never like you and now I am begging for your attention. Funny how I used to whisper your name and now I want to shout it out loud if I could. Funny how all this things meant nothing for me and then you came along. Funny how I hated you from the start, and now I am loving more, day by day. 

Tired of thinking of you and all the things that you do,
                                 Tell me what am I supposed to do?

I really can't explain why, how or when. It confuses my too, honestly. I am certain though, that I love you. I like to be with you everyday, every night if possible. I want you laugh, I want your jokes, and I like it when I can make you laugh. Sometimes, I steal a glance or two. And those glances, that even history will not remember, contains my world's biggest secret, and If by chance you caught that glance, I swear there and then, you will know what I've been feeling. I feel like crying every time I thought of you with someone else. God knows how much I'm hurting hearing your stories of the past, and how I wish that I am your future. But his is now, and maybe, this is not the time for us. But when?
You're turning me on, You turn me around,
                                         You turn my whole world upside down .....

When will I stop being like this. Even though I am madly in love, I hate this feeling. Especially that I am the only one loving. I can't tell you, though I have dared many times. I like what we have right now and I'd rather have you that way that nothing at all. I love you babe, at least let me say that here where the whole world can read it. I know we could never be together, but let me, in my own little ways, love you from afar. 

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