An Open Letter II

I'm letting you go, not because I don't love you, but because I love myself.

Ever since I met you, I have never thought of my own happiness. All I wanted was yours, even at my own expense. I don't know if it counts as love, I really don't care. I have put you first in all of the things I do, because seeing you smile makes it all worth it.

Ever since met you, I have never been happy and sad at the same time. I have never been fine and in pain at the same. I have never been this selfless, I have never been this stupid. But I never regret all the things I have done for you, for I think it is you, who should be in regret for losing someone like me. I could love someone else and hopefully and finally, they will love me back but no one, nobody , will ever love you the way I do. I am fine now, I will be okay. I will move on and get over you.

But who am I kidding?

There was never a night that I don't miss you. There was never a morning that I wish I will wake up with you beside me, just like before. There was never a boring day that I wish for nothing else but your presence.I keep on telling myself to move on, that you are not even thinking of me. My senses go wild whenever  my phone tells me I have a message, wishing its yours.

I miss you so bad, there are days I don't even know what I am feeling. I literally feel nothing. I will just stare into nothingness wishing I feel something, even pain, but I don't.

But I am putting it all behind me now, for I deserve peace, and I deserve more than you could ever give.

What did you do to me that I can't fool myself into thinking I don't want you and I don't love you anymore? I don't know when and how will I get over, or if its even possible but I am hoping for the best.

I am letting you go, for you already made your choice. I am letting you go because you don't need me anymore. I am letting you go because you don't deserve someone like me and I don't deserve someone like you. I am letting you go because I see no point in fighting a war that was never mine to begin with, I am letting you go because it is time that I love myself.

I am not mad and anger is at the bottom of the list of how I feel for you. I genuinely want nothing for you but happiness. We were just two lost soul who found each other. I gave in and you didn't and that is okay.

Thank you for everything and let me tell this and shout it all in the universe for one last time; I love you,

1 comment:

  1. While reading this, I could remember my younger self who is so into this guy. And the younger me thought the guy felt the same way. Turns out that they don't want the same thing. The younger me wanted love, the guy just wanted someone to be with until his past love comes back.