5 Reasons Why Cuttlefish Is Like a Filipino Politician

Yes, I am also surprised that I am writing about something I have never dared before. I just find it dirty. I find it tricky. You never know what you're dealing with until their true colors shine through. If you're on the wrong end, you'll get all the words from a basher's limited vocabulary. And you'll probably die fighting for something that doesn't even know you exist.

Yup, I am talking about Zoology.

I just finished watching a documentary about Cuttlefish. Don't ask me why, Youtube does that to me. It was actually really good, eye opener even. I used to think that chameleons are badass. Then cuttlefish happened. If you don't know cuttlefish, you can always google it. But just so you know, I am judging you already for being such an ignorant person unaware of such a trivial thing. That is what you get from watching "If (blank) movies was made in the Philippines' memes. 

So, after watching, it dawned on me that cuttlefish shares the some traits as other animals living things, like a politician. If you don't know about politicians, or if you know but you're pretending you don't, it's fine. This list will give you enough reference to make you question why we don't call a group of politicians, a zoo (slaaaaaaay).

1. Camouflage

One distinct characteristic of a cuttlefish is its ability to mimic a color, a pattern, or both. Their like chameleons, but with more arms and can swim. In fact, their ability to camouflage is so advance, they can make a display of changing colors like a voter without a backbone neon sign. This is also seen as a behavior of a common politician. They can camouflage to make themselves relatable. And like cuttlefish, a politician makes use of this to either attract, hunt, or hide.

2. Tentacles

Cuttlefishes are closely related to octopuses. Hence, they have the same number of tentacles or arms. How many exactly? Like seriously, you're going to google that? Unlike cuttlefishes though, a politician's tentacles are always hidden (refer to number one). You don't see it, but everyone knows it's working

3. Smart

A number of studies made consistently proved how smart cuttlefishes are. They can be conditioned to know how to ask for food. Or when to interact with an object in hopes of getting a reward. Or to even recognize patterns to get out of a simple maze. Some scientists even compared them to vertebrates, as their level of intelligence remains to be seen with their relatives (except octopus). Politicians on the other hand, has taken intelligence to a whole new level. They use it as a funding source to finance who knows what. Though, scientists are yet to identify whether the politicians carry the smart gene, or their tentacles (refer to number two).

4. They fight to mate

This trait is not exclusive to cuttlefishes, or politicians for that matter. In fact its evident in almost all fauna. The cuttlefish's way of fighting though, sets them apart. There will always be the scheming someone who will and can, outsmart the others. It has been observed that in order to successfully mate, a cuttlefish can camouflage to a certain extent, that it ca copy a female cuttlefish. Once 'dragged', the crossdressing cuttlefish makes it way to the waiting woman, ignored by the bigger males with bigger egos. Now, politicians exhibit the same traits. Although I am not sure if they use it to find their mates. But they sure use it to find voters.

5. Their poisonous

Not really all of them. In fact, just one specie of cuttlefish is found to be poisonous. Surprisingly, its the smallest, darker breed of cuttlefish. What made scientist curious about this specie, aside from its size, is its behavior. It has been observed that their defense mechanism, aside from camouflage, is to walk (or swim) confidently, flashing bright colors. Bright colors, in nature usually spells poison. Hence, predators would think twice before devouring them. This display of overconfidence despite its size made scientists curious. We have the same specie of politician, who, despite of its size and color, walks with overbearing confidence, its almost a turn off. Its called a Flamboyant Cuttlefish. That is the name of the cuttlefish, not the politician.

So there you have it guys, another list with doubtful benefit. But since you like me as a person, you will nonetheless read this. And because you find me funny, you will bookmark my blog in hopes of reading more of my interesting, insightful, beyond adjective blog. One trait I hope our politicians will copy from cuttlefish though is that fact that cuttlefish only lasts one mating season. That will surely demolish political dynasties. 


No cuttlefishes or politicians were harmed making this. Although I think I might have offended them, the cuttlefishes. 

Cuttlefish be liek

0 (mga) puna:

Post a Comment