Sunday Reflections: The Bridge I Burned

I hate losing friends. I don't have that many, so I hold those I have as close as possible. I have a severe separation anxiety that I almost considered suicide out of fear that those I love the most will eventually leave me behind. It's something I cannot bear, so I thought I'd leave them first. Obviously, I didn't do it, judging from the fact that I still run this blog. I must admit though, that the idea is still sitting in the back of my mind having a smoke and a hot cup of coffee. And there were instances when the idea slowly walks in front of me and follows me around like my shadow. Like that time when I burned a bridge I took care of, for seven years.

It was rather petty how it happened. Looking back, we made it so easy to just throw away years of wonderful friendship. I don't want to bore you with details; it makes me cringe whenever I think about what happened to be honest. How ironic that a bunch of Communication graduates failed to communicate properly. Thereby ending what would have been a lasting friendship. All because of Facebook likes. Damn you Mark Zuckersomething. 

Is this price of growing old and growing up?

I know that losing people along the way is inevitable. It's a process that all of us will eventually face more than once. Scary right? Like how sure are you that the best friend you have now, will be the same best friend you have after, say, five years? Imagine the memories you are going to make with that person, only to wake up one day and realise that everything has changed. Is it a risk you are willing to take?

I remember a quote I saw on Facebook once about photographs. Something about how the picture doesn't change but the people in it do. It's a reality I still find hard to accept. Quiet frankly, I don't think I ever will.

Watching snippets of last night's MMK episode made me think about my friend. She went through the same thing, suffered the same consequences. But she made it. She made it with flying colours and glitters. I once told her that out of all my friends who finished college, I was most proud of her. I witnessed the hardships she went through just to be where she is now. I never doubted her and her ability to rise above any challenge. Even now that we're practically a stranger to each other, I still find ways just to check on her. And I always find myself smiling and celebrating with her at every triumph she accomplished. 

I wish words were never said. I wish some things didn't happen. I wish the bridge is still there just waiting for me to cross it whenever I want knowing that I will be welcomed with open arms. I wish I can still talk to her about the most random things during the most random time of the day. Yeah, I miss her. I miss her so much.  

Have you burned any bridges?


  1. Maybe you just need to build a new bridge... Or find another path. :)