Here I am, feeling rather down smoking a cigarette and drinking coffee wishing everything to be fine, but in the back of my mind I know that I'd rather choke and drown than to feel the pain of realizing that you are not with me tonight.

I don't quite know what to do, I don't how to handle my feelings for you. I know it's not something new, but all the senses I once had seemed, all at once, gone. And I woke up one morning and your face is what I want to see in the morning, and your warmth is what I want to lull me to sleep at night.

Am I asking for too much? I guess I am, I don't blame myself though. I just a victim of my humane feelings. They say love completes you, in my case, it's destroying me completely, slowly. I wouldn't be surprised if I wake up one day looking at my own grave. Having said that, I want these words written in my epitaph.

For the love that never was his, but who can blame a man for loving what he cannot possess? 

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