Okay I need to get this out or I'll blow up like a bomb.

Last December I decided to move to Cebu, permanently. I figured that life will be much better for me if I will be surrounded by my family. Exactly December 6, at around 11 am, I finally saw the smiles of my Aunts, Uncles, cousins and my most beloved Lola. Since that day, I never felt happier.

They are still suffering the aftermath of Yolanda: no water, no electricity, broken houses and unstable lives. My Mom told that I wouldn't survive, that a guy like me who grew up with all the good things in life would only last a week or two. I proved her wrong, very wrong. A week passed by, followed by another. Then came Christmas and New Year. After a month, she told if I am really serious about my decision, I told her yes. She wasn't convinced still. A month became two, three until finally she begged me to come back here in Cavite to attend my graduation rights. I would do anything for my Mom, but this has been the hardest I almost wanted to defile her. I arrived last night, since then, I haven't stopped thinking of coming back.

I was happy there. Sure, there were moments where I still feel sad and lonely but unlike before, I don't have to face it alone. I don't have to sleep alone, wake up alone, eat alone, be alone. I have more than 20 cousins keeping me busy with their jokes and stories. Uncles and Aunts asking me what I want for lunch or dinner. There's my Lola who will be so caring it irritates me sometimes. That is the only place on Earth that can make me feel at home, that I never have to be alone again.

There was this one night, I decided to go the beach to reflect. My thoughts wandered so far I started digging into the past. I started to feel sorry for myself for not deciding to go home before. I felt sad for myself, for all those years I felt alone, unloved and uncared for. I bought a bottle of Rhum and drank it on my way home. I cried after, not because I am sad for the moment, but because I what I've been through. Had I only learned to look back early on I wouldn't have suffered. I cried all those tears I suppressed trying to be strong. I cried all the things that has been bothering me. I cried because I felt free, happy and home.

This was from my drafts written last March 20, so you see, I was trying to blog. Anyway, I have nothing good to share today, so I posted what is written above. Have a good day folks! Smile!

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